Top 10 Worst Music Reviewed in 2019

So we’ve made it to the end of another year. As you know, we count down the best and worst in games and music. Today, we are counting down the top 10 worst tracks we’ve heard in 2019.

Can you believe this is the 6th time we’ve counted down the top 10 worst tracks we’ve heard all year? Neither can we. Yet, here we are continuing our yearly tradition.

Before we get into the top 10 list, we wanted to take a moment to do a sort of announcement. As you are no doubt aware, we’ve taken a bit of a detour to the 90s. If you guessed that we are changing things up around here, you would be correct. There is, however, a secondary reason why we are taking a detour through the 90s.

As many artists know, music is a very fast moving thing. Hits last all of weeks and styles change every couple of years. As such, while it is a great idea to look back to what music was in the past, it is also a great idea to look forward and see what great stuff is coming up. Music simply isn’t stagnate. So, as such, we wanted to tell you that we have decided to institute a cut off point. If a track is 30 years or older, it has reached the end of an expected life expectancy. As such, this year coming up will be the last year we will review any track released in the year 1990. After that, the year is considered closed and retired.

Still, it is quite interesting to take a listen to what music was like so long ago. Admittedly, 1990 proved to be a difficult release year to find anything particularly great. In fact, only one track so far exceeded a score of 7.5/10. So, it was a little disappointing for us. Knowing this, you can bet we found some real dud’s along the way. So, yes, a lot of these tracks are found from the 90’s, but that is mostly because we focused on those years in particular.

Anyway, we hope you enjoy the lists this year!

10. Bad Company – Holy Water

[RIAA]
A track that is lacking in distinct qualities. This one managed to make the cut because the vocals got drowned out badly in the instruments. Those same instruments are bogged down by repetition and sameness. As a result, this track made it under the wire to make it to number 10.
5/10

9. Imagine Dragons – Believer

[RIAA]
Hard to believe a track like this is considered “rock”. In fact, even we couldn’t justify the category. This one impressed us in the wrong ways with it’s overall flatness and drowned out lyrics. It makes the list thanks to a complete lack of anything exciting.
5/10

8. Billy Idol – Cradle of Love

[RIAA]
There’s good rock music from the 90’s and there’s back rock music from the 90’s. This fell into the latter category and, believe me, I was also surprised by the band name making something like this too. I wanted to like the track more than I really did, but unintelligible lyrics and a plague of sameness really weighed this one down.
4.5/10

7. The Cure – Never Enough

[RIAA]
A track that really made me describe it as “blah”. At the risk of sounding repetitive on this list, the vocals get drowned out. The other elements are also a bit of a jumbled mess. So, an overall flop in my books.
4.5/10

6. The Rolling Stones – Almost Hear You Sigh

[RIAA]
We know this is a very famous band from the 80s, but that doesn’t make the music produced since any good. Garbled vocals make this track pretty much unlistenable. With nothing emphasizing various parts of the track, this one simply fails to impress.
4.5/10

5. New Kids on the Block – Never Let You Go

[RIAA]
For us, very few things ruin a track more than vocals that hit notes higher than they are clearly capable. With awkward vocals. With repetitive synths, the track ends up being so weird, it sneaks into the top 5 for this year.
4.5/10

4. Shawn Mendes – There’s Nothing Holdin’ Me Back

[RIAA]
There’s bad music out there both older and newer. In this case, newer tracks can prove to be a real flop too. This track’s bad acoustic guitar manages to make for a pretty bad listening experience. Throw in a mumbling vocalist and you got yourself a listening experience you don’t want to repeat.
4/10

3. DJ Khaled – I’m The One (ft. Justin Bieber, Quavo, Chance The Rapper, Lil Wayne)

[RIAA]
If there’s ever a running joke around here, it’s that Justin Bieber is trying to get a life time achievement award for producing the worst music around. Once again, he manages to make it onto this list in a big way with this one. A four bar bassline that is left on auto-pilot is sure to make for a bland listening experience. Ordinarily, rap mixed in with regular vocals do produce good quality, but not here. Things get pitchbent to the point of making the vocals incomprehensible. So, of course, a track that is very boring stands a great chance at making it onto the list as is the case here.
4/10

2. The Black Crowes – Hard to Handle

[RIAA]
Based on our experience, you have to work pretty hard to beat Justin Bieber in terms of producing bad quality. Still, some tracks manage to do this. In this case, we have a close pair of tracks that did beat him our this year. This track becomes a boring jumbled mess with vocals that seem to go on for so long, the other elements like guitars and drum kit have to awkwardly wait for them to finish before the track can continue. With an added terrible ending to boot, this track flops pretty big.
3/10

1. Halsey – Now or Never

[RIAA]
The winning track for worst track I’ve heard all year manages to snag this title by a hair. It was a close one this year, but after careful consideration, I’ve decided that this is the worst one. I found myself asking what the producers were even thinking when they finished producing this track. The best parts are mediocre, the transitions are awkward cuts with no flow, and fast paced vocals are paired with quiet and otherwise slow elements. As a result, this winds up being the most horrible listening experience I’ve had all year.
3/10

Honourable Mentions

Like we’ve said, we’ve found our fair share of duds this year. Interestingly, no track got bumped out this year and, at the same time, this years list wound up being a full roster. So, here are the other tracks that didn’t make the grade this year.

Robert Plant – Hurting Kind (I’ve Got My Eyes on You) (RIAA) This track barely made the cut this year. While the guitar riffs are actually quite good, the garbled vocals really didn’t impress us.
6/10
Madonna – Vogue (RIAA) The good news is this track pushes inclusive concepts. The bad news is that it’s also a pretty average listening experience.
6/10
The Allman Brothers Band – Good Clean Fun (RIAA) This track made it here for being a boring track with no distinct features. Basically, this is just bar music.
6/10
Janet Jackson – Escapade (RIAA) A mediocre track that has an odd thematic mismatch between the vocals and the lyrics. Not the greatest track as far as I’m concerned.
6/10
Greenhouse – I Love America / Got A Feeling (New World Groove Mix) (RIAA) The track that didn’t quite make the list is this flat one. When you take a few interesting samples and play them over and over to death, you’re going to fail to impress.
5.5/10